I AM STILL SICK!

Last Tuesday morning (June 23) I went to the emergency room at the local Indianapolis hospital near Megan's children's hospital for the second time. The first time I was diagnosed with mild bronchitis and prescribed an antibiotic, a rescue inhaler, and more of the cough suppressant I had been prescribed from my doctor at home before Megan was hospitalized again. The second time I went to the emergency room, the doctor said that I should be getting better and that sometimes pertussis (aka: whooping cough) is wrongly diagnosed as bronchitis much of the time. He suggested that I may have pertussis, gave me a breathing treatment, and prescribed some steroids for inflammation of the throat and lungs and some pain medication because my ribs and chest had become very sore by then. I have been dealing with this cold, cough, etc. since May 18th.

Last Thursday I came home and had some blood drawn because my doctor at home wanted solid evidence that I had pertussis before he wanted to treat me for it. I got the results today and they said that it is not pertussis. However, my cough is still as prevalent as ever and my back and chest muscles are still very sore. It is hard for me to do anything without coughing. I am having trouble sleeping. And, the pain medication is making me sick to my stomach.

I have gone back and forth from taking different medications, cough suppressants, cough drops, and all of the other medications that I have been prescribed for my condition. I feel very run down, tired, and weepy as of late.

I have no idea what else to do to get any sort of relief from my coughing. I have even resorted to google-ing remedies and such because I feel that I am at a loss for what to do.

I am no longer scared of all the stuff that I am doing for Megan. I just want to feel healthy enough to complete everything that she needs me to do. I do not remember ever having any type of condition such as this before.

I have been very reluctant to say anything this week because I have not been in the best of moods and didn't want to sound like I was complaining. I understand that in trying times (such as everything we are facing with Megan) that I should not be exempt from facing difficulties myself. Yet I have still found myself asking, "If I have to go through all this stuff, why can't I just be well? Why do I have to do all of this stuff and be sick too?" I don't feel strong and empowered anymore. I am tired and weepy. And I can't get rid of it.

Please pray that I will be able to get some relief from this "coughing disease." Whatever it may be. I want to focus on enjoying the extra time that I have been given with my precious daughter.

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