is exactly 1 week before Monica's 10th Birthday. I love her so very much. We spent the day going through her dresser and closet and switching her wardrobe to warmer weather wear. It has been a bittersweet day. There have been many things that have reminded me that this is all the time I got to spend with Megan. We looked at so many outfits that Megan wore first. We put some away for good. Others, we put away for next fall and winter. Then, I realized we will probably have only one more season with older sister clothes to wear. Monica used to be so excited to get into Megan's new sizes. She always thought Megan had the cutest clothes and she hardly ever stained them or wore them out.
I am so thankful that we're not having an early birthday party today because our time fell short with her. I don't think my heart could handle it.
But, on the other hand, it's hard to wrap my mind around the fact that Monica will have surpassed her sister in age. Is she older now? Will she ask me that question and make me choose an answer? How long will it be before someone reminds me of this fact? And, will I have the grace to smile and nod? Or, will they get the brunt of my grief and pain?
