is exactly 1 week before Monica's 10th Birthday. I love her so very much. We spent the day going through her dresser and closet and switching her wardrobe to warmer weather wear. It has been a bittersweet day. There have been many things that have reminded me that this is all the time I got to spend with Megan. We looked at so many outfits that Megan wore first. We put some away for good. Others, we put away for next fall and winter. Then, I realized we will probably have only one more season with older sister clothes to wear. Monica used to be so excited to get into Megan's new sizes. She always thought Megan had the cutest clothes and she hardly ever stained them or wore them out.
I am so thankful that we're not having an early birthday party today because our time fell short with her. I don't think my heart could handle it.
But, on the other hand, it's hard to wrap my mind around the fact that Monica will have surpassed her sister in age. Is she older now? Will she ask me that question and make me choose an answer? How long will it be before someone reminds me of this fact? And, will I have the grace to smile and nod? Or, will they get the brunt of my grief and pain?
3 comments:
I am also so glad you are not having to celebrate a birthday early. I cannot imagine your pain as there are so many days and things to grieve. I pray you find the comfort your heart needs to get through each moment and you give yourself the grace you need to have for yourself as well.
L, I never thought about how to explain Megan's current age to Monica, or anyone else, before now. You are right. It is a confusing thing to grasp, let alone explain. Like Charity, I am praying for you to find comfort. This party will have a marked difference from the last 10 year old birthday party you celebrated. I love you and am praying for you and Ken and Monica always.
I stumbled upon your blog while doing research about home IV therapy (for a class I'm in). I'd just like to thank you for sharing your story, and for looking to God and sharing verses that encouraged you at the time. I have a genetic medical condition too, it's called Cystic Fibrosis, and I found the hope you have to be encouraging. I think God brings us through things, sometimes to work in great ways we could never imagine for His purpose. I can't relate to what you went through, but I do know what it's like to cherish every moment of life you have with someone. God bless you! I'll say a prayer for your family. Thank you again for sharing your story!
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