Thoughts

It's hard on the days when Monica is at school and Ken is at work all day.
I am here. alone. with my thoughts.

I don't like noise though.
I want it quiet.
I don't even turn the TV on anymore.

It is especially hard when I don't want to get up.
I have to get up and make someone else (who doesn't want to get up) get up.
Then, we have to fight ourselves and each other to get where we need to go for the day.

I am so looking forward to not having to do that anymore very soon.
Summer is my favorite season.
It's nice out.
This year we get to go places and do things we didn't always get to do.

I have found myself thinking, "Wow! Megan would have really loved this!"
And, then I think, "Wait a minute. No, she didn't! She couldn't when she was here."

I thought I had already mourned the fact that she wasn't a normal child.
But, I find myself mourning it all over again, now that she's gone.

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