It began as a light desire for what tasted good.
Yes, I admit that I just "liked" coffee and Diet Coke.
It's not such a problem when you have a regular schedule to keep and you can't have one of those two items on you at all times. You just enjoy it while you can.
That changes, though, when you don't keep a schedule and you
are able to have one of those two with you at all times.
It starts off all innocent. Oh, I finished my last one? Better get another.
Then, it became a part of me. It went from being on the table next to me, to my hand, to an attachment on my purse that goes everywhere I do.
When I put it somewhere and I couldn't find it, I got another one out. When I finished that, I got another one out. When I found one I left somewhere and didn't know where it went, I combined it with the one I was currently drinking. (Notice the container size difference?)
It's a big joke when you finally realize just how much you consume. It doesn't affect you personally. And, it's a very socially acceptable addiction. After all, I'm not smoking or doing something
really bad for me or anyone else.
It isn't a joke, though, when you realize that Diet Coke has become
half of your grocery budget and you only buy it when it's on sale. You say to yourself, I should stop consuming so much of it, right?
So, I bought more coffee. After all, it's cheaper to make yourself.
I was talking with my husband recently. I asked him what I should do. He said, "You should just start weaning yourself off of it." Then, I asked him how I should go about doing that. He said, "You should just limit yourself to, like,
one a day."
"Um, Honey, I don't know if you've really been paying attention to what I am telling you. But, when you (I can't believe I'm typing this!) consume a
12-pack a day, only having ONE is like going COLD TURKEY!"
What am I going to drink the rest of the day? I always have something with me. Stitch a seam. Take a drink. Stitch another. Take a drink. Make a blog post. Take a drink after each paragraph. Um, does anyone know how many paragraphs are in my blog posts? A lot. (And all you readers thought I just know that breaking up long posts is easier to read on a computer screen - insert scary, sarcastic laugh here.)
Have you noticed the tension I have in writing about this subject today? It's taken a lot of anxious energy to write this one, LOL! (Just count the number of paragraphs here.) A whole
giant cup of coffee has been consumed already in the time I have written this. I am currently out of Diet Coke. Coffee is my back-up caffeine.
Yes, this is a real addiction. It has taken years of habit formation. I have real symptoms when I don't consume any for a few hours - really.
In light of the subject of my last post about
eye twitching, I have decided that I need to do something about this addiction. I am starting to wonder if this addiction is part of the cause of my brain not being able to settle down at night to sleep. Although my sleeping issues started last year, for obvious reasons I hope, I can't help but wonder if the caffeine is compounding the problem. Both of these symptoms are causes of eye twitching - fatigue or lack of sleep and the over consumption of caffeine. I can't help but wonder - is this my wake up call?
I do have a doctor's appointment in early November and will be discussing this issue there as well.
Until then, I am asking you lovely readers, what would you do in this situation? How do I go about weaning my caffeine consumption? Do you know anyone who has been in this situation before?