This is our life today. We are having issues controlling secretions, tolerating feeds, and managing medication levels. The Dr. says that we will be able to bring Megan home when her blood cultures are negative for bacterial growth. We are uncertain whether or not the fevers are going to go away. The blood cultures taken yesterday have yet to show growth, but Megan is still having fevers daily. The doctors are beginning to think that her body is not able to successfully regulate her temperature right now. We do not know if this is permanent or will improve over time.
I want to believe so badly that Megan can maintain a level of health that will enable us to live a comfortable "status quo" life again. Questions have been raised today that make this dream seem like its worlds away. We have known for six years that Megan's ultimate diagnosis is for her body to fail and that she will live with our Heavenly Father until we are able to reunite. I feel honored to be Megan's mother and would like to have her as a part of our family for as long as possible without being broken and in pain.
Emotionally, yesterday was an up kind of day and today feels down. I want to scream "Calgon, take me away!" but may have to settle for a fresh bottle of the pink stuff.
Praying that tonight and tomorrow go better.:)
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